Monday, November 17, 2008

Beware Parents

Deuteronomy 30:19This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live

I hope parents (grandparents too) and parents to be have given much thought to this, i speak of mush thought to how they influence their children, whether they are leading them on the path of blessing or cursing.
I DON'T mean what they WISH to do, but what they ARE doing, this reminds me of a Tozer quote: "every man is as close to God as he wants to be; he is as holy and full of the Spirit as he wills to be..... Yet we must distinguish between wanting and wishing. By 'want' i mean wholehearted desire. Certainly there are many who wish they were holy and victorious or joyful but are unwilling to meet God's conditions to obtain."

I would say that's consistent with the testimony of scripture, of the use of the means of grace, and the active obedience to God almighty under His working.
Parents and especially FATHERS this is absolutely CRITICAL; let me say it like this, FORGOT stupid SPORTS and even EDUCATION and their CAREER potential, all those are VAIN pursuits, yet they are the common pursuits of the WORLD.
You have been given a stewardship, so you would do well to first come to a solid conviction of WHAT God desires for your children.....don't be to quick to answer. What is the will of God for your child? CONFORMITY TO CHRIST. Which may not come the way you might want it to come, it may come through much pain and suffering, through much failure and sorrow. It may come through a constant battle between you and your child as long as they live with you.
The world seems only concerned with WHAT their children will be (in the world's eye), or they are only concerned with giving their children as much freedom as they want, in order that there will be less fighting.
Character should be supreme over everything, Christlikeness should be your supreme goal, a goal which is more than WILLING to sacrifice what the world considers profitable. Where then are you leading your children, what then is the impression you are leaving with them as concerns the true treasure?
Much of the problem has been an awful mixture of views, the world having an incredible influence on the minds of believers. Like it or not much of that is happening because you give LITTLE attention to the truth (the WORD) and TOO much attention to the MEDIA. I'd also have to add that the church has addressed very little about this issue, not many are equipping parents. The ministry to children has received the least amount of thought and teaching (scriptural) than any other ministry. THis was perhaps what surprised me most about the Puritans and also J.C. Ryle that great attention was given to warning parents of their duties. Also of preachers i have been most affected by Albert Martin and Paul Washer in this area; to the point of intense conviction and complete redirection; praise the Lord for preachers with backbones. I was absolutely crushed when I first heard Paul Washer speak about how important it is to lead and love your wife and children above all else (contrary to those i heard that spoke of family as the thing you'd have to sacrifice)!
Impressionable minds, I was thinking about this right before the elections. As a friend of mine wanted to warn a sunday school class of the sin of leading children into sin, by illustrating just how bad the school systems have gotten in America. Yet what has come to mind (as i've wrote before concerning salvation and communion) is the GREATER sin of parents who do this, OVER
the world. I'm not surprised at the world, I'm only surprised at the influence of the world on the church.
Allow me then to make several points/questions to how we lead our children:
What about materialism? What impression have you left on their minds concerning things? Do they see you constantly drooling over what you don't have? DO they think the purpose in life is to get sport cars and bigger houses with bigger yards? DO they here how enthusiastically you speak of what someone gets paid or how much this or that is worth? Perhaps you have failed to consider what a TRAP you are setting before them.
What about PRESTIGE (the praise of men)?
Do they see you always competing to be seen? Do they see you often buckle under wanting to please men? Do they see you give great praise to the prestigious, to the abundance of degrees from the finest colleges? Do they see you give MORE worth to men who carry more titles, how have acquired fame? What then have they learned of humility of serving others as a way of leading?
What about MODESTY? This is the most disturbing thing, when i find countless daughters and even wives, that look like they are on the way to a nightclub, as though they have sought out the most body revealing attire possible. As if they have pre-planned to make every married man wish he was divorced. As though they sought the clothes that would bring the MOST attention to the most PRIVATE parts (like WORDS splattered across the rear end). I remember Albert Martin telling of how he stopped his girls from going out to the mall (though they probably were very modest COMPARED to what we see) and how confused they were, until he sat them down and explained what exactly goes through the minds of men when they See certain things he said and i quote 'you will dress in such a way that a man has to be a complete pervert to be turned on by you' now THAT's a FATHER!!! Dad's what IN THE WORLD are you thinking, do you not see? DOn't you warn and FORBID your daughters to dress like harlots? Are you absolutely BLIND?? And WORSE for your wife to do it, THIS IS NOT HIGH SCHOOL, you're NOT THE WORLDLY PARTY ANIMAL captain of the football team who has the LOOSE AND FAST CHEERLEADER on your arm to MAKE every man JEALOUS of you: that's DISGUSTING. that's NOT being proud of your wife, THAT'S taking the role of a PIMP!!! What then do i ask, do you teach your children of their body and how it's to be presented?
What of LUST? What do they see you watch? what do they see you laugh at? Is their perversity on your lips? Yet I must also add naively leading your children into no-win situations; like encouraging them to date and giving them freedom. Proverbs points out that a child left to himself WILL bring his mother to SHAME! Paul Washer makes the point that a father who held such LOVING standards was asked 'don't you trust your child?' and the reply was OF COURSE I DON'T, Paul made the POINT that HE DOESN'T EVEN TRUST HIMSELF so of course you shouldn't trust a child with raging hormones'. Yet you lay a snare before them, because you want to worship the goddess 'normal', yet when your child keeps falling into sin they won't want to talk about it because they will think that they are just sick perverts that can't control themselves unlike the rest of the people. This can also be done through the way you compliment them, a teenage boy or girl doesn't EVER need to HEAR you say "WOW, you're looking good today, i bet they'll be lining up for you today!!" COOL and NICE??? MORE LIKE completely ignorant and hurtful: LOOK at how much our culture is PLAGUED with SEX, with SINFUL ADDICTIONS to SEX and you would dare to think such comments are innocent, or that there's such a thing as innocent puppy love??? It's way before teenage, that kids are experimenting and that crosses all cultures, colors, and classes. BE CAREFUL of the SEEDS you plant in their minds. Also don't give the impression (with media) that there is a certain age where you are no longer affected by open wickedness ('this is a grown-up movie")!
The list could go on, but let me switch this for the sake of (my) time.
Concerning Christ, religion, prayer, scripture, church, and the lost
What impressions have your words and actions left? Do they see an obvious disconnect from your speech in church of you love to Christ and your speech at home? DO they see you merely going through the motions, or do they see daily devotion? Are your children WITNESSING parents who daily wrestle against sin and temptation with continual fruit? Do they get the impression that their souls are the greatest concern you have of them (not school, not their talents, not their morality even)? It has been said 'it's about a relationship, not religion' well what would your children say of that? Is Christ only mentioned during 'devotion' time?
I remember Albert martin making the point that your children should be convinced that Christ is the head of the home, and the reasons why you do this or don't do this is because of Christ's authority. Do your children ever see you worship outside of Church, or only complaining as though God was not good to you?

I beg you to ask yourself these things, to really examine yourself in these areas. It's vital that we take great care to the souls of our children, and this by glorifying God through adherence to the scriptures!
Let me throw out a couple sermons that I would recommend you to listen to:

I beg you to listen to these sermons (listen while you clean up, or wash the dishes or something): There's a lot more available of Albert Martin on Parenting that you could download or buy the set, but hopefully these will stir some thoughts!!!



Hey brother!,
This is Mardochée (Mordecai) from the True Church Conference. :)
Julius your words have truly been a blessing! I praise our Lord for men like you who value JESUS and family above ALL else!!
Thank you for sharing GODs truths.
Let's keep in contact. My email is marleynyc at gmail.
Grace and Peace.

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