Sunday, January 11, 2009


Allow me this moment to speak to Christian females, yet what i say may also be useful to fathers and even husbands
As usual I wish to speak on what may not be spoken on by many, in fact i do greatly appreciate ministers who are not afraid to address such issues and that in a biblical manner.
Concerning the age we live in, concerning the American culture specifically there is MUCH need to address such topics; and NO i don't think this is something only a woman can address, if men have been called to take the role of elders within the church then they can and MUST speak on all things.
I do like the way in which Paul Washer's wife put it; either what you wear is a frame for your face or a frame to show off your body. (that's one way to put it).
To my great surprise many do things out of pure ignorance, I've only experienced few women that have a 'i'll wear whatever i want' attitude towards making men stumble (sin). Can some of this apply to men as well? Of course, but allow me to address specifically the women.
Ladies, if you are a child of God, then you are pursuing godliness. If you are pursuing godliness then you do that in the knowledge that 'you are not your own, you have been bought with a price'. Since you live in the light of that reality, you ARE concerned about the 'godliness' of others, and are also concerned with what message they receive from you. You are a representative of Christ and whether you face it or not, even the way you dress says a lot!!
NO i don't expect all women to go makeup less or dress like Amish people, yet there is a major difference between 'class' or 'style' and 'sexy' or 'provocative'. To those who knowingly disregard what others think, then you must face the reality that you are IN sin, if you cause others to sin.
Freedom in Christ gives you no such freedom!
I used to go to one church (just under a thousand people) , that just before warmer weather would come around; the pastors wife (usually) would make an announcement during the Sunday morning service that pertained to the way the women would dress. This was done very gracefully, just precautioning the women to be aware of what they wear and what other men will see (especially in church). That was an inner-city church! Why do i point out that that was an inner-city church? Because it's more common to find such topics addressed head-on within the inner-city, not because the problem is greater (some suburban churches are worse in their dress) but because there seems to be a greater fear to step on anyone's toes in suburban churches. This method didn't make people walk out and many just ignored it. There was a predominately black church i went to (and many like it) that the 'mothers' (this is the designated elderly women members called 'mothers') would usually be the ones to confront a young lady with an unusually short skirt (especially the kind that make it WORSE to cross legs) with a long scarf (to go over her knees). Yes there were mean and critical women who did this, and then their were wise women that gracefully handled these things (I'd say a MUST if you sit on the front row).
Do you consider these things, do you not consider that men struggle with lust; not a certain type of man, but MEN who with their eyes miss nothing. Pastor Al Martin while addressing this subject, gave the story of his teen daughter (maybe daughters) that were on their way to the mall and he stopped them before they left the house. The daughters were surprised, not intentionally dressing skimpy, so Pastor Martin sat his daughters down and gave them the inside scoop on how boys will look at them: he said 'you need to dress in such a way that a man has to be an absolute pervert to lust after you'. Now that's good counsel; 'But men lust no matter what you wear' I say that's true, but we are not talking about what they might do anyways, but specifically what YOU might be doing to ADD to that problem.
Talk to your daughters (fathers especially) and sad to say but you may need to talk to your wife. This is no longer high school, we as Christians may be proud of our wives, but we don't parade their beauty or bodies as trophies; if you find delight in men looking at your wife, something is WRONG (wickedly wrong).
It's surprising to see what young girls wear today, it's no wonder why there are so many cases of minor related sex crimes. Young girls are getting more and more daring, and it just blows my mind that some parents are clueless to the flirtatious natures of their children. It's never CUTE, no matter how young a girl is to dress like a street worker. !!!!NEWSFLASH!!!! Even sagging jogging pants and especially ones with words on the rear are major stumbling blocks to men (yes even Christian men)-- do you not grasp that they (the culture, the designers) intentionally feed on the lusts of men. If you need further proof, if you are blind to these realities then i give you this challenge; Go to the mall on the weekend and sit somewhere for at least an hour and watch MEN, watch married men and what they look at, what young men and what they look at, watch retired men and watch what they look at (you will either be convinced of what i am addressing or you will think that there's a special discount for sexual offenders that weekend!)
ANOTHER THING: I'm NOT one of these MEN who are in the dark concerning women's clothing, I don't MIND shopping for my wife, I have EXPERIENCE in finding DISCOUNTED, quality, classy, hip, and especially MODEST apparel; So don't EVEN pull that lame excuse 'it's too hard to find ...." No it's not, in fact weirdly enough there are many clothing lines that are intentionally modest.
Practical helps? Avoid extremely tight clothes
Go for LONG undershirts (light tanks or t-shirts-- even your husbands sleeveless undershirts)
Avoid words and excessive graphics over the butt
WEAR A BELT if you can't keep your pants up
avoid the low-rise (especially if you're big-boned)
Wear a bra, it makes a difference to men
Cleavage? To be safe, dress in front of a mirror and roleplay (what do you see when you bend over? If you see we see it!) Leave those loose blouses alone
All this Goes DOUBLE in the house of God, as others have said, it needs to be a 'safe haven, not a temptation war zone'.
I really hope this was fruitful to some, i really hope some will find this informative and practical. In this we must be a separate people, we must be holy. Yet it must be said that i DID NOT tell the HALF of it, nor is what i said all-inclusive in fact there's many more principles that could be addressed.


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