Thursday, July 9, 2009

Reactionary Child ABUSE

Concerning the training and discipline of children, I have frequently come across and have heard for years the same excuses. These aren't usually people who blatantly argue that the bible is unclear about these issues, but people who can listen and read biblical teaching on the subject and say 'amen'.
Yet the problem is not what they may say is true, the problem is their customized excuse for why they have chosen to disobey what God has taught them concerning children.
The excuse usually goes something like this: "I guess the reason why WE or I am so lenient is because you see WE or I had some really bad experiences as children growing up". In otherwords 'We have decided that the best way we could love our children is by disobeying what God commands because it would be too hard on us to do it His way.'
Proverbs 13:24He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.
Now let me guess, if that's you, then you didn't like that?! Well tough luck, your children need someone to tell you, because their souls are in danger. Their souls are you kidding? No,
Proverbs 23:14Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death.
It's very hard to pretend to hold a high view of scripture, to defend election, sovereignty, the five solas etc.. and yet to throw away sound teaching concerning those you pretend to love the most. Yes, I say pretend because the only true love you can give will be in accordance with the word of the God who is love.
Will you rob your children of life and wisdom, will you cripple them for adulthood, because you weren't raised in the garden of Eden? That my friend is child abuse of the worst kind, don't neglect the warnings that accompany the commands of proper training and discipline for children, your child WILL be affected by your disobedience.
Dear friend it's not EASY for anyone, there are times where it crushes you to discipline, where you are so tired that you want to give in, but you must not, you can not! For this reason especially a mother of little ones should be greatly praised and encouraged by the people of God for such flesh-killing obedience (pray for young mothers, and women help them).
Pastors and Elders if you have children then you have a responsibility to be an example in this area, you should be very aware of what's out there and should be convinced of how to biblically raise your children and challenge others to do the same.
Learn your children, study them and mark well their unique tendencies to wickedness; how they manipulate, how they respond to discipline, their facial expressions, their outbursts of anger, their sulking, their selfishness, their demands and so on.
Here is one message you should listen to, and does it often sound harsh (yes when memories flood upon you, but be careful not to judge that way, be a Berean in this matter).

Voddie Baucham, Child training (download mp3)

AND let me throw in 16 rules which SUSANNA Wesley had concerning her children:
Susannah Wesley was the mother of 19 children, including John and Charles Wesley. Through much adversity, she dedicated her life to instilling a sense of Christian Destiny into each of her children. Her children went on to change the world.
Here are 16 rules she laid down in her home.

1. Eating between meals not allowed.
2. As children they are to be in bed by 8 p.m.
3. They are required to take medicine without complaining.
4. Subdue self- will in a child, and those working together with God to save the child's soul.
5. To teach a child to pray as soon as he can speak.
6. Require all to be still during Family Worship.
7. Give them nothing that they cry for, and only that when asked for politely.
8. To prevent lying, punish no fault which is first confessed and repented of.
9. Never allow a sinful act to go unpunished.
10. Never punish a child twice for a single offense.
11. Comment and reward good behavior.
12. Any attempt to please, even if poorly performed, should be commended.
13. Preserve property rights, even in smallest matters.
14. Strictly observe all promises.
15. Require no daughter to work before she can read well.
16. Teach children to fear the rod.
Susannah Wesley believed that for a child to grow into a self-disciplined adult, he/she must first be a parent-disciplined child. To her, the stubborn flesh was the hardest battle for Christians to fight, and Godly parents would do well to equip their children to overcome it early. She writes:
When the will of a child is totally subdued, and it is brought to revere and stand in awe of the parents, then a great many childish follies ...may be passed by. . . . I insist on the conquering of the will of children betimes, because this is the only strong and rational foundation of a religious education ... when this
is thoroughly done, then a child is capable of being governed by reason and piety.


Patrick Eaks

I have come across your blog from a comment that ye left at Team -Pyro.

Thanks for this post, I am a Pastor/Elder and have eight children, we need to be willing to lift high the standard of the word of God in all areas of our lives, including raising adults.

As you mentioned it can be hard sometimes to be consistent in training, but we must be diligent to follow through, no matter how inconvenient it is to us.

May we prove we love our children by bringing them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, as the word of God demands!

Thanks for your time,

Julius Mickel

thank you for the comments, may the Lord bless you and our tribe!
I'll be checking out the blog from time to time.

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